I took this picture in Washington DC this past weekend. "Except authorized vehicles only"? Isn't 'only' implied in the word 'except'? That's bureaucratic redundancy for you!
31 May 2007
Right on Redundant
I took this picture in Washington DC this past weekend. "Except authorized vehicles only"? Isn't 'only' implied in the word 'except'? That's bureaucratic redundancy for you!
26 May 2007
We Won!
BBC: Mars gets veggie status back
Mars has abandoned plans to use animal products in its chocolate, and has apologised to "upset" vegetarians.
The firm had said it would change the whey used in some of its products from a vegetarian source to one with traces of the animal enzyme, rennet.
Mars said it became "very clear, very quickly" that it had made a mistake.
"There are three million vegetarians in the UK and not only did we disappoint them, but we upset a lot of the consumers," [Mars said].
The Learned Pig applauds Mars's correction of what was indeed a grave mistake. Granted, this change of heart was induced by a threat to profits rather than a moral epiphany, but at least now I won't have to support the veal industry when I buy a Milky Way.
Now, if we can only get Junior Mints to stop including gelatin in their recipe, we'll be all set.
Mars has abandoned plans to use animal products in its chocolate, and has apologised to "upset" vegetarians.
The firm had said it would change the whey used in some of its products from a vegetarian source to one with traces of the animal enzyme, rennet.
Mars said it became "very clear, very quickly" that it had made a mistake.
"There are three million vegetarians in the UK and not only did we disappoint them, but we upset a lot of the consumers," [Mars said].
The Learned Pig applauds Mars's correction of what was indeed a grave mistake. Granted, this change of heart was induced by a threat to profits rather than a moral epiphany, but at least now I won't have to support the veal industry when I buy a Milky Way.
Now, if we can only get Junior Mints to stop including gelatin in their recipe, we'll be all set.
24 May 2007
Wall of Separation
Ever wonder where the phrase "a wall of separation between church and state" comes from? It was coined by our nation's third president, who couldn't have made it any more clear that he didn't want religion mixing with politics:
"Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between man and his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legitimate powers of government reach actions only, and not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should "make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof," thus building a wall of separation between Church and State."
-Thomas Jefferson, in a letter to the Danbury Baptist Association, 1 January 1802
"Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between man and his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legitimate powers of government reach actions only, and not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should "make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof," thus building a wall of separation between Church and State."
-Thomas Jefferson, in a letter to the Danbury Baptist Association, 1 January 1802
20 May 2007
English
BOISE, ID—The Idaho Legislature passed a unanimous resolution Monday declaring English the only language the elected assembly knows how to speak, write, or understand.
"We're putting into law a general feeling that everyone here has had for years: English is the only language we know, and English is the only language we want to know," Lt. Gov. James E. Risch said during a press conference outside the State Capitol building. "It's a good language, serves us well in matters of communication, and we can't think of any good reason to go around knowing some other language that we have no use for."
The legislature is expected to pass a separate resolution later this week officially declaring out-of-towners "suspicious."
16 May 2007
He should have prayed for lower cholesterol
Today we celebrate the passing of a man whose life was a blight on the moral and intellectual state of the nation. The Reverend Jerry Falwell is dead. For the past several decades, his puritanical morality, stunted intellect, and expansive waistline have made him the shining model of right wing evangelism. Who can forget his incisive commentaries on American immorality, like the time he told us all who was really to blame for 9/11:
The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way -- all of them who have tried to secularize America -- I point the finger in their face and say: "You helped this happen."
Brilliant. Falwell's other accomplishments included starting the Moral Majority, an organization that opposed the rights of anyone who was not a wealthy, white, straight, male Christian, and founding Liberty 'University', a place for especially backward Christians to insulate their ignorance from the kind of rational examination that is so pervasive in most other institutions of higher learning.
Goodbye, you obese Jesus-loving freak. You will be missed, but not by me.
The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way -- all of them who have tried to secularize America -- I point the finger in their face and say: "You helped this happen."
Brilliant. Falwell's other accomplishments included starting the Moral Majority, an organization that opposed the rights of anyone who was not a wealthy, white, straight, male Christian, and founding Liberty 'University', a place for especially backward Christians to insulate their ignorance from the kind of rational examination that is so pervasive in most other institutions of higher learning.
Goodbye, you obese Jesus-loving freak. You will be missed, but not by me.
15 May 2007
Milk Chocolate, Creamy Nougat, and Bovine Stomach Acid
Damn it. I used to love eating Snickers, Milky Way, and Twix. But now, if I want to eat any of those, I also have to eat the stomach of a tortured calf.
BBC: Mars starts using animal products
Masterfoods [owner of Mars chocolate] said it had started to use animal product rennet to make its chocolate products.
"If the customer is an extremely strict vegetarian, then we are sorry the products are no longer suitable, but a less strict vegetarian should enjoy our chocolate," said Paul Goalby, corporate affairs manager for Masterfoods.
A 'less strict vegetarian' should still be able to enjoy their chocolate, eh? Well, let's see what exactly this rennet stuff is:
Natural rennet is produced in the inner mucosa of the fourth stomach of young ruminants. These stomachs are a by-product of veal production.
Deep-frozen stomachs are milled and put into an extracting solution – in this solution the enzymes are extracted. The crude rennet extract is then activated by adding acid...
So rennet is extracted from the stomach of a veal calf - an animal that lived out its short, miserable existence in a narrow box, so that its soft, atrophied flesh could appeal to the palate of sophisticated diners.
I fail to see how anyone who considers him/herself to be a vegetarian - or even anyone who harbors an ounce of real compassion - could 'enjoy' a product made with such barbarous and vile methods.
Looks like I'll be a strict Hershey man from now on. No animals need to die in order for them to make their chocolate.
BBC: Mars starts using animal products
Masterfoods [owner of Mars chocolate] said it had started to use animal product rennet to make its chocolate products.
"If the customer is an extremely strict vegetarian, then we are sorry the products are no longer suitable, but a less strict vegetarian should enjoy our chocolate," said Paul Goalby, corporate affairs manager for Masterfoods.
A 'less strict vegetarian' should still be able to enjoy their chocolate, eh? Well, let's see what exactly this rennet stuff is:
Natural rennet is produced in the inner mucosa of the fourth stomach of young ruminants. These stomachs are a by-product of veal production.
Deep-frozen stomachs are milled and put into an extracting solution – in this solution the enzymes are extracted. The crude rennet extract is then activated by adding acid...
So rennet is extracted from the stomach of a veal calf - an animal that lived out its short, miserable existence in a narrow box, so that its soft, atrophied flesh could appeal to the palate of sophisticated diners.
I fail to see how anyone who considers him/herself to be a vegetarian - or even anyone who harbors an ounce of real compassion - could 'enjoy' a product made with such barbarous and vile methods.
Looks like I'll be a strict Hershey man from now on. No animals need to die in order for them to make their chocolate.
14 May 2007
Two H, One O, No Matter What You Pay For It
What's in a name? That which we call Dasani
By any other name would taste as refreshing....
Truly the biggest triumph of coporate marketing in the past 10-15 years has been the rise of the bottled water industry. Every day, millions of suckers buy water for a cost that is several thousand times its actual value, just because it comes in a plastic container and has some artist's depiction of a mountain spring on the label.
Guess what? The water that comes out of my tap is H-O-H, just like the water they're buying. It has the same nonexistant taste, the same chemical composition, and the same thirst-quenching properties. Except I get it for free.
We don't live in Russia, people. The water is safe. Buy a Brita filter, fill it up a few times a week, and stop shelling out piles of cash for the cheapest and most abundant liquid on Earth.
By any other name would taste as refreshing....
Truly the biggest triumph of coporate marketing in the past 10-15 years has been the rise of the bottled water industry. Every day, millions of suckers buy water for a cost that is several thousand times its actual value, just because it comes in a plastic container and has some artist's depiction of a mountain spring on the label.
Guess what? The water that comes out of my tap is H-O-H, just like the water they're buying. It has the same nonexistant taste, the same chemical composition, and the same thirst-quenching properties. Except I get it for free.
We don't live in Russia, people. The water is safe. Buy a Brita filter, fill it up a few times a week, and stop shelling out piles of cash for the cheapest and most abundant liquid on Earth.
10 May 2007
Today's Most Popular Beatdowns
Notice how the four "most popular" videos on CNN today all have to do with beatings.
Ah, the 24-hour news networks. If they're good for anything, it's perpetually sating our society's thirst for violence.
09 May 2007
04 May 2007
Religious Bondage
"Religious bondage shackles and debilitates the mind, and unfits it for every noble enterprise, every expanded prospect."
-James Madison, in a letter to William Bradford, 1 April 1774
-James Madison, in a letter to William Bradford, 1 April 1774
02 May 2007
Thou Shalt Not... Pluck?
Know this, ye faithful: hair gel is hateful unto the Lord.
CNN: Iran bans Western haircuts, eyebrow plucking for men
I understand that hard-line Muslims want to discourage vanity. I think that's it's idiotic to heap moral condemnation upon metrosexual hairstyles, but I understand that the negative perception of vanity is the religious context from which this puritanical nonsense emanates. But where does one draw the line? Are brushing teeth or taking baths next on the list? Does wearing deoderant make me sinful in the eyes of the Lord? Will owning a mirror in my house condemn me to eternal damnation in the afterlife?
CNN: Iran bans Western haircuts, eyebrow plucking for men
I understand that hard-line Muslims want to discourage vanity. I think that's it's idiotic to heap moral condemnation upon metrosexual hairstyles, but I understand that the negative perception of vanity is the religious context from which this puritanical nonsense emanates. But where does one draw the line? Are brushing teeth or taking baths next on the list? Does wearing deoderant make me sinful in the eyes of the Lord? Will owning a mirror in my house condemn me to eternal damnation in the afterlife?
01 May 2007
Solely Because of Their Race
The Civil Rights movement may have taken place four decades ago, but apparently some of us still have catching up to do.
CNN: Students Attend First Integrated Prom
Yes, you read that correctly. The students of Ashburn, Georgia were still holding segregated proms right up through 2006.
But don't worry, it's not as bad as it sounds! Mindy Bryan, a student who attended a segregated prom back in 2001, had this to say:
"There was not anybody that I can remember that was black," she said. "The white people have theirs, and the black people have theirs. It's nothing racial at all."
Nothing racial at all. Yes. The segregation of black people from white people was nothing racial at all. That's the dumbest goddamned thing I've ever heard in my life.
Apparently, though, Mindy isn't the only Rhodes Scholar in the bunch. Nichole Royal, who attended a white prom and commented that black students could have attended too but didn't, said: "I guess they feel like they're not welcome."
Now there's a startling sociological inference: black people might not feel welcome attending a prom for white people!
I think it's appropriate to end this heated post with a dispassionate analysis from Earl Warren's opinion in Brown v. Board of Education in 1954. Note that this was written 53 years ago. We should be past this.
To separate [black children] from others of similar age and qualifications solely because of their race generates a feeling of inferiority as to their status in the community that may affect their hearts and minds in a way unlikely ever to be undone.
CNN: Students Attend First Integrated Prom
Yes, you read that correctly. The students of Ashburn, Georgia were still holding segregated proms right up through 2006.
But don't worry, it's not as bad as it sounds! Mindy Bryan, a student who attended a segregated prom back in 2001, had this to say:
"There was not anybody that I can remember that was black," she said. "The white people have theirs, and the black people have theirs. It's nothing racial at all."
Nothing racial at all. Yes. The segregation of black people from white people was nothing racial at all. That's the dumbest goddamned thing I've ever heard in my life.
Apparently, though, Mindy isn't the only Rhodes Scholar in the bunch. Nichole Royal, who attended a white prom and commented that black students could have attended too but didn't, said: "I guess they feel like they're not welcome."
Now there's a startling sociological inference: black people might not feel welcome attending a prom for white people!
I think it's appropriate to end this heated post with a dispassionate analysis from Earl Warren's opinion in Brown v. Board of Education in 1954. Note that this was written 53 years ago. We should be past this.
To separate [black children] from others of similar age and qualifications solely because of their race generates a feeling of inferiority as to their status in the community that may affect their hearts and minds in a way unlikely ever to be undone.
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