The Learned Pig: A Couple of Devilish Definitions

13 November 2006

A Couple of Devilish Definitions

From Ambrose Bierce's Devil's Dictionary (1911):

Christian, n. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.

Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

No comments:

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

Why the learned pig?

In early 19th-century America, a certain traveling show featured a remarkable pig that, on command, could spell out letters to form words. This "pig of knowledge", or "learned pig", baffled superstitious mobs, and excited frenzied accusations of witchcraft. In response, the pig's trainer published a pamphlet that sought to dispel the rumors by detailing his methods of instruction, and demonstrating that this apparent miracle could be accounted for through reason and observation alone.

Tacitus once wrote, "everything unknown passes for something splendid." Humans by nature desire to know, and when they encounter something seemingly inexplicable, they tend to fill in the holes with religion, superstition, or inane anti-intellectualism that dismisses the need for knowledge altogether. But these are cowardly subsitutes for reason and observation. The learned pig reminds us that if we wish to be wise, "observe; for observation is the source of wisdom."