Moral Certainty

"Moral certainty is always a sign of cultural inferiority. The more uncivilized the person, the surer they are that they know precisely what is right and what is wrong. All human progress, even in morals, has been the work of men who have doubted the current moral values, not of men who have whooped them up and tried to enforce them. The truly civilized man is always skeptical and tolerant, in this field as in all others. His culture is based on 'I am not too sure.'"
- H.L. Mencken

Craig. Daniel Craig.

I've always admired the qualities that make Bond who he is. His wits. His charm. His courage. His equanimity under pressure. His resourcefulness. His success with the fairer sex. His taciturn, stoic demeanor. His ruthlessly independent, self-reliant lifestyle.

Never before has any of that been so masterfully played out on screen. Daniel Craig is a genius. The man has ruined me for other Bonds.

Of course, Connery and Brosnon will always be great, and Moore and Dalton will always have their fine moments. (Lazenby, though, in his only Bond film, was pure excrement.) Craig, however, has entirely reinvented the character. Craig's Bond is more accessible. He has a genuine, human dimension that all previous Bonds have lacked. He is not just 007; he is also a man.

Craig doesn't have the detached insouciance of the old James Bond; he doesn't simply kill someone, straighten his tie, and walk away. He's more in touch with the gravity of his actions. Of course, he's still capable of turning off his emotions and getting the job done, but he's not as nonchalant as Connery, as artifically sophisticated as Moore, or as tight-lipped as Brosnon. Craig can show all of those qualities, but he picks the right moments for them. In other moments, Craig's Bond is more vulnerable - and therefore much more interesting - than previous Bonds. He's capable of showing emotion, and the audience is more likely to identify with him.

And for the first time, 007 actually gets the living shit beaten out of him once in a while, which is fitting in his line of work. The worst that would befall Connery or Brosnon was a sweaty brow and maybe a torn suit jacket. Craig gets cut, bruised, bloodied, and beaten. He bleeds and shows cuts and scrapes after fighting, which gives him an added, realistic edginess.

His look has also changed. Spies don't go black tie on every mission, you know. Craig is comfortable (yet still strikingly handsome) in a T-shirt or casual sweater, so when he wears a suit or the trademark tux it's all the more effective. And Daniel Craig is jacked. The man has powerful shoulders and a toned, muscular overall physique. His athleticism is immediately apparent; he looks like the fast runner and powerful fighter that Bond is supposed to be.

Finally, it's clear that Craig actually treats this as a serious acting role. He doesn't expect to let gadgets, cars, clothes, and women create the part for him; he's invested a great deal of creative energy into the character, and the fruit of his labor is a more complex and fascinating persona than I ever thought it possible for James Bond to have.

Cheers to you, Daniel Craig. 007 - status confirmed.

Shaken. Not stirred.

I do not take lightly my idolization of 007, or my appreciation for the past 20 Bond movies. So it's not without serious reflection that I've decided Casino Royale is the best James Bond film ever.

Allow me to enumerate and elucidate my reasons for thinking this movie is just so goddamned good.

NOTE: No explicit spoilers follow - very little that you wouldn't really already know from the previews, and no information that will give away the plot.

1. Pre-title sequence

Almost every Bond movie begins with an action-based sequence before the main title and credits. It usually involves Bond on some kind of mission, and the outcome always influences the main storyline in some way.

Casino Royale's pre-title sequence is a masterpiece. Featuring rough, realistic fighting shot in grainy black and white, it begins the reinvention of 007 as we know him.

2. Title sequence and song

Chris Cornell, a favorite singer of mine from the bands Audioslave and Soundgarden, wrote and recorded the song You Know My Name for the title credits. The song is great, and it's got a masculine, slightly grunge sound that blends well with the tone of the movie. It's the first time that a male singer has recorded a Bond title song since a-ha did the song for The Living Daylights.

The title sequence is a welcome change from the usual display of dancing naked female sillouettes. In fact, there is hardly any sexual presence to speak of: it's mostly simple animation focused on a sillouette of Bond and the creative use of spades, hearts, diamonds, and clubs, not only to foreshadow the poker game in the plot of the movie, but also to suggest the strategic risks that 007 is known for taking with his life. It ends with a stunning shot of Daniel Craig as Bond, letting you know that The Man Has Indeed Arrived.

3. Plot and Dialogue

The storyline of the movie is awesome. It eschews the hackeneyed explosions and flashy gadgets worn out by the franchise, and focuses on Bond's wits and the cost of betrayal.

Past Bond films - every one of them - have followed a rigid formula. Gun barrel sequence, pre-title sequence, title sequence. Bond visits M and Q-Branch, and says "shaken not stirred" and "Bond, James Bond", by about the middle of the film. He gets captured and somehow escapes. He beds at least two women. He gets involved in a car chase in which he shows off the latest Bond gadgets. He kills the villain in a grandiose fashion. And the film concludes with him getting cozy with the main Bond girl of the film.

Certainly a tried-and-true formula, but one that was becoming trite and boring after 20 reincarnations. Wisely, the makers of Casino Royale broke the rules. They didn't destroy the formula altogether, but they firmly departed from convention, and the result is an engaging and fresh story.

Instead of a car chase, there is a pursuit on foot, which is infinitely more interesting because it is not limited to streets, and it involves the characters' physical stamina as well as their quick thinking. And instead of the cheesy, smarmy Bond lines typical of Bond movies, the few one-liners delivered by Craig are believable and actually charming.

There's hardly any superfluous violence in Casino Royale. None of the bad guys die in impressive, earth-shaking denoument explosions; their final ends are actually believable.

4. Bond girl - Eva Green as Vesper Lynd

Without a doubt, the smartest and (and I think prettiest) Bond girl ever. She's every bit Bond's match for wits, and she doesn't just swoon into his arms after 2 corny lines and let him take her. She stands her own and Bond can't complete the mission without her.

5. Villain - Mads Mikkelsen as Le Chiffre

I don't know how they found this guy, but he's so fucking cool. He's much more reticent than other Bond villains, and his presence on screen is more captivating. And he doesn't portray the stereotypical, cackling, meglomaniac Bond villain who pets his cat and dreams of world domination. Instead, he's a believable modern bad guy: a private banker to terrorists, and a cruel, unforgiving, selfish, very wealthy man.

6. Judi Dench as M

It's Judi Dench. Need I say more? The woman should get an Oscar for every part she's ever done.

7. Daniel Craig as Ian Fleming's James Bond 007

This will require an entire post of its own.

JAMES BOND HAS RETURNED

You know his name.
You know his number.

Only 007 can make a hand of poker as thrilling as unarmed combat, death-defying chases, and rapturous sex. Only Bond - James Bond - can deliver all of that in one movie and still have time for a vodka martini.

Go see Daniel Craig give Bond back his true self. The stakes are high, and he delivers. Considerably.

Conventional

"The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking."

-John Kenneth Galbraith

Rape

Pakistan Votes to Amend Rape Laws
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/6148590.stm
Pakistan's religious parties called the [new non-religious] legislation "a harbinger of lewdness and indecency in the country", and against the strictures of the Koran and Sharia law.
Addressing parliament on Wednesday, the leader of the six-party MMA Islamic alliance, Maulana Fazlur Rahman, said the bill would "turn Pakistan into a free-sex zone".

Under the current law in Pakistan, rape trials are handled by religious courts, and a raped woman who can't come up with four male witnesses to her rape faces prosecution for adultery.

Leave it to religion to be so outrageously backwards, retarded, and sexist as to punish a raped woman for being raped.

B is for Beneficial

It looks like the Plan B contraceptive pill will soon be available for over-the-counter sales in New York City and elsewhere. This is a decidedly good thing. If your condom breaks, or if, in a torrent of passion, you stupidly ignore protective measures, it's good to have a backup plan for obviating unwanted pregnancy.

Predictably, that's not how conservatives view the matter. For some of them, Plan B falls too uncomfortably close to abortion, that ongoing holocaust of tiny innocent people by the liberal legions of Lucifer himself.

Other conservatives, like the blockheaded cretin I saw on the news tonight, argue that Plan B is dangerous because it encourages promiscuity and more casual attitudes towards sex.

This is precisely the same argument that has been used throughout history against condoms, birth control pills, and abortion itself. But there is nothing to support the contention that birth control increases lustful behavior. People are ALWAYS lustful; Plan B and other birth control measures just prevent unwanted potential babies from being born or aborted at a later stage.

The conservative on the news also expressed concern that Plan B might fall into the hands of underage girls. Uh... point being? Would he rather that they go through with pregnancy? 16-year-old girls should be studying precal and applying to college, not breastfeeding and changing diapers. And again, the same argument could be made about condoms; should we deny them to teenagers because they give them sexual license? You're not going to stop teenagers from having sex, but birth control can at least provide options for safety and the prevention of unwanted pregnancy.

To think that people will actually curb their sexual appetites without Plan B is a hilarious departure from everything psychology, biology, and history teach us about human nature. And conservatives call liberals naive!

A Couple of Devilish Definitions

From Ambrose Bierce's Devil's Dictionary (1911):

Christian, n. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.

Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

House + Senate - Rumsfeld = Awesome

I consider myself neither a Democrat nor a Republican, mainly because I prefer thinking for myself and don't like to attach a label to the aggregate of my political and social views. But on the whole, I find the Democrats to be the far saner party in this country.

That being said, WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!

I expected the House. The Senate was an agreeable surprise. And the resignation of Rumsfeld was a totally unexpected delight, not only in that the bastard is now gone, but in that the timing was such as to be an obvious display of concession.

Bush's discomfort during yesterday's press conference was palpable. He was stumbling, laughing at his own bad jokes, and disgracing the English language, all more than he usually does. What's more, he took responsibility for the election losses. I'm going to repeat that. He took responsibility for something.

Oh brave new world, that has such a Congress in't!

A Connecticut Jew in King George's Court

So. Another 6 years of Lieberman representing Connecticut with his drooping, vapid countenance. I'm ecstatic.

The other day I heard him boasting about how he has always stood for working "across party lines". By this, of course, he means that he hasn't let calling himself a Democrat stop him from acting exactly like a Republican. Now he's an independent - which I assume means free agent available for GOP contract.

Oops

US Pastor Admits Sex 'Immorality'

A respected pastor and vocal opponent of gay marriage is a sanctimonious, contemptible asshole? Never saw that coming. "There is a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark and I've been warring against it my entire adult life," he writes in his confession. When he says "repulsive and dark," he's not talking about his antediluvian religious views on marriage, but rather the fact that he secretly counts himself among the very people whom he so enthusiastically persecutes. It's like being a Jewish Nazi. The self-loathing must be epic.

But don't think that a humiliating national scandal will drive him to apostacy. Oh, no. It'll just make him more religious. That's how religion works; it's an ideology that subsists on a viscious cycle of impossible standards, inevitable guilt, and insincere repentance. Amen.

Go Fish

I'm a vegetarian. I do not eat pigs, cows, birds, fish, or any other meat, because in our age of supermarkets, it is absolutely unnecessary to kill animals in order to have a complete, nutritious, delicious diet.

Many people on some level understand my compunction with killing animals that walk or fly, but it's often harder for them to conceive why I don't eat seafood. Swordfish or lobster don't scream or squeel when you kill them, so their suffering is more of an abstraction. And come on - to give up eating meat AND fish I must be some kind of kook!

But occasionally, science comes along and vindicates erstwhile kooks, making them look like the only reasonable people in the room. And it's now becoming clear that eating fish is no longer a reasonable dietary choice.

Only Fifty Years Left for Sea Fish (BBC)
There will be virtually no fish or other seafood from the oceans by the middle of the century, scientists conclude.
"The way we use the oceans is that we hope and assume there will always be another species to exploit after we've completely gone through the last one," said research leader Boris Worm, from Dalhousie University in Canada.
Steve Palumbi, from Stanford University in California, one of the other scientists on the project, added: "Unless we fundamentally change the way we manage all the ocean species together, as working ecosystems, then this century is the last century of wild seafood."

Now, this really shouldn't come as a surprise. It's simple arithmetic. There are now over six billion people on the planet, and although the oceans are vast, they aren't infinite. Fishing used to be sustainable when they're weren't so many people and the fishing itself wasn't so industrial. Now, if people keep glutting themselves on cod and tuna, there just won't be any left.

Fortunately, there is a simple solution, albeit one that's unsatisfying for our self-centered society: STOP EATING FISH. You don't need to eat fish to have a complete diet; it is unnecessary, it is a luxury, and now an ethically indefensible one. There are plenty of other sources for the protein and nutrients found in fish. If petty selfishness overrides your moral compass and you choose to keep contributing to the disappearance of sea life as we know it, at least consider eating less seafood. We can't have our oceans and devour them too.

Cure

As if we needed more proof that Rush Limbaugh is a fat, sweaty douchebag.

His recent criticism of Michael J. Fox is so putrid that it shocks even those, like me, who are used to his idiotic contrarian rants. Of course, after the fallout he had to issue an apology to save his fat face, but even then he couldn't stop himself from saying something dense. He solemnly asseverated that "Fox is allowing his illness to be exploited, and in the process is shilling for a Democrat politician." Stephen Colbert recently reacted to this by pointing out how very shameless it is that Democrats are "cynically exploiting his disease to try to find a cure for his disease."

If only there were a cure for terminal stupidity.

For more amusing satire of conservative radio's favorite sputtering moron, check this week's Onion.