The Learned Pig: Jared

02 March 2008

Jared

Some Subway commercials have been airing recently to congratulate Jared, the company's ex-XXXL spokesman, for celebrating his tenth year at a respectable weight.

Only in America can someone be lauded as a hero for the simple reason that he's no longer a fatass. Jared is an icon to the millions of overweight and obese who dream that one day they, too, can shed their supersized waistlines.

Why does Jared deserve congratulations? What about the millions of the rest of us who never become whales in the first place? Where's our million-dollar endorsement deal and laudatory commercial?

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Why the learned pig?

In early 19th-century America, a certain traveling show featured a remarkable pig that, on command, could spell out letters to form words. This "pig of knowledge", or "learned pig", baffled superstitious mobs, and excited frenzied accusations of witchcraft. In response, the pig's trainer published a pamphlet that sought to dispel the rumors by detailing his methods of instruction, and demonstrating that this apparent miracle could be accounted for through reason and observation alone.

Tacitus once wrote, "everything unknown passes for something splendid." Humans by nature desire to know, and when they encounter something seemingly inexplicable, they tend to fill in the holes with religion, superstition, or inane anti-intellectualism that dismisses the need for knowledge altogether. But these are cowardly subsitutes for reason and observation. The learned pig reminds us that if we wish to be wise, "observe; for observation is the source of wisdom."