21 May 2009

Hero vs. Hero Prime

Through technology or genetic mutations, a man acquires special powers. He uses his powers to defeat his enemies. But then, he must face his ultimate adversary - someone who has the same powers and abilities he does, except BETTER!

Sound familiar? This is the plot that Marvel Comics films have been reproducing with gusto lately. And it's getting pretty damn tiresome.

IRONMAN: Guy builds an iron suit, flies around, blows things up. But then his nemesis builds a bigger and better iron suit! And they fight!

THE HULK: Guy gets big and green when he's angry. His nemesis plays with science to make himself get bigger and greener! And they fight!

WOLVERINE ORIGINS: Guy has fast-regenerative tissue and a metal-coated skeleton. His nemesis assembles a Franken-mutant who has these abilities, plus teleportation, plus diamond skin, plus a bunch of other neat tricks. And they fight!

BO-RING. Is this cookie-cutter plot the only one Marvel can be bothered to use anymore? There are countless other ways you could bring a superhero film to an exciting climax. The whole hero-fights-a-new-and-improved-version-of-himself trope has got to go.

13 May 2009

Google: Invading Your Public Privacy

CNN: Google Street View blacked out in Greece

These uproars over Google Street View "invading privacy" seem like so much self-important nonsense. What could Google Street View reveal about your home that anybody couldn't readily see from a public road anyway?

There have been concerns that Google Street View will help "criminals scouting for burglary targets." I got news for you: if burglars want to scout out houses, they don't need a computer to do it. Google isn't telling them anything about your house they wouldn't have already known. You may find that comforting or you may find it unsettling, but there it is.

And if these images taken from a public road can encroach on privacy, what's next? Should we ban sidewalks in residential areas, since any shady character walking down the street can have ocular access to the exterior of your house?

10 May 2009

Not funny

You know that hideous joke about why the woman had two black eyes - because her man had to tell her twice?

In Saudi Arabia, that's not just a repulsive attempt at humor. It's a legal opinion.

CNN: Saudi judge: It's OK to slap spendthrift wives

Arab News, a Saudi English-language daily newspaper based in Riyadh, reported that Judge Hamad Al-Razine said that "if a person gives SR 1,200 [$320] to his wife and she spends 900 riyals [$240] to purchase an abaya [the black cover that women in Saudi Arabia must wear] from a brand shop and if her husband slaps her on the face as a reaction to her action, she deserves that punishment."

Al-Razine "also pointed out that women's indecent behavior and use of offensive words against their husbands were some of the reasons for domestic violence in the country," it added.

05 May 2009

Swine Flu

A hundred days into the new administration, Obama-related headlines had stopped carrying the punch they used to. People were also becoming numb to reports about the financial crisis. The media needed something new and scary.

So they soiled their pants with glee when Mexico began reporting an "outbreak" of swine flu. A pandemic scare! We haven't had one of those since avian flu became passe!

It's not a serious threat. It's the FLU. Just because it has the word "swine" in front of it doesn't make it the bubonic frakking plague.

There are still under 1000 cases worldwide, and an even smaller number of deaths. And most of those deaths, I think it's safe to say, testify not to the deadly nature of swine flu, but to the inadequacy of the Mexican healthcare system.

Yet people will panic when they're told to panic - and if you tell them not to panic, they'll panic anyway. One of the most vile manifestations of this daft herd mentality has been the mass killing of pigs, particularly in Egypt and Iraq. These killings have nothing to do with preventing the actual spread of the disease; anyone who's actually educated herself on the issue knows knows that, whatever its origins, the virus is spread from HUMAN to HUMAN. No - these mass killings are simply barbaric measures to make ignorant people feel safer.

In a few months, this exercise in scaring ourselves will be forgotten, and we can go back to fearing genuine threats to our well-being, like courts allowing men to marry each other, or presidents with foreign-sounding middle names, or immigrants stealing our much-sought-after janitorial and dishwashing careers.